Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
