I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
