Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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