There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
