Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
