i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
