We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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