You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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