I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
