OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The Olympian is in my bed
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
