Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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