Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
