please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
