I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
