awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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