I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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