So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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