If i come over, it means nothing
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
