Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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