Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
