i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
