you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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