I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize