And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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