btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
