i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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