I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
