I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
