I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
