morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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