Just fell off a train. Bad.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
