So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize