I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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