if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Too much gin, very little bucket
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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