is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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