I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize