ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize