you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
