Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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