if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
