I don't think brook has ever known best
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
