I'm jealous of your bromance
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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