This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
