Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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