anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
