There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
