You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
