Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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