i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
