I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
