why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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