My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize