It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
