Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
im holly from the hills drunk
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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