Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
