the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
