i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
