U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
