Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
