that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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