I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
