i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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