There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
