You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Even my vagina gasped.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
