Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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