I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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