i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
