the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
