apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
