Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
