doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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