Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
